Live lifeee ~

it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live

queenrylan:

esotericalesbians:

it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob

what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob

Because we have vaginas

(Source: barfemoji, via hannahsnellbaker)

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

(via bemyforever46)

parents:okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!
clock:11:01
me:they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now

500daysofeffyou:

SpongeBob, where’s my order?

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Did you look under the tray?

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Oh. No I didn’t, sorry.

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(via bemyforever46)

How to scare your wife by Ellen DeGeneres

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(Source: winchestersarrow, via hannahsnellbaker)

mc-squidward:

links-scarf:

cocaine-and-insulin:

methlaboratories:

MONKEYS in the ARCTIC?! whats next, vampires on the weekend?!

but imagine if there were dragons

you punks are all so daft

this post is making boys fall out of their seats.

(Source: dannydevitofan97, via euqhoricly)

nosdrinker:

everyone who likes coconut water is lying

(via calif0rnia-girl)

without-hope-with-humor:

funny-text-posts:

A compilation of some of my favourite text posts

the loki one and the fart one got me

(via swimmingbecca)

radboysehun:

im ok w spending $40 on food but wont buy a $40 shirt

(via okusuck)

orlandobloomers:

people used to have to paint their own selfies

(via bre-sizzle)

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